So, where have you been?

Me? I've been playing Sims 3 in between watching my kids grow and trying to remain sane. So let me get you caught up on the past few months since obviously blogging hasn't been my forte lately.

Hubs is scheduled for shoulder surgery the end of April. FINALLY!!! I know this is a good thing because obviously something needs to happen to get him healthy again. But I'm terribly nervous about what an actual SURGERY will mean in the here and now. It will mean that he will be even more incapacitated for the next several months. Which will mean I will take on even more of his duties, including taking care of him in his post-surgical state which I have been warned isn't going to be pretty. So we've been brain storming about things that should be done before then, and we've got a list going. My parents have taken the next week off of work for Spring break, so hopefully they'll be able to help out with the preparations.

My own health has been pretty terrible lately. I've been in a lot of pain in pretty much every joint in my body. Looking back, probably too much inactivity playing Sims for sure, but it's enough to be concerning to me. So I'm going in to get my blood tested this afternoon to make sure that it isn't something more serious. I'm not sure I've mentioned before, but I've been in 2 pretty serious car accidents in my youth, so I've always been a bit messed up. But this is probably the most pain I've been in since recovering from those accidents. Not good. Especially with Hubs' surgery coming up. I really need to be at my best by then.

All this, plus the whole chest pain incident, has lead me to the conclusion that one of the things we HAVE to do before the end of April is get on a diet and loose some poundage before then. My personal goal is to loose 10 lbs. I'm hoping Hubs will loose even more than that, being a man and all it should be easier for him. (Don't you ladies just HATE that?) I'm sure we will both feel better if we are successful with this and be more prepared for the physical demands that this surgery will require. So we're getting back on the Mayo Clinic Diet, since that has worked for us in the past and we didn't feel terribly deprived while on it. The only reason why we stopped doing it last time was because it's very produce heavy, which is wonderful but also expensive. But now that Spring is here and I'll be planting a garden soon it should help with the cost.

We're postponing potty training. The girls are VERY ready, but we're not. And knowing this surgery is coming, I just can't take on another project. I'm currently planning to start with the potty training once the weather warms up. I've been told it's much easier to do outdoors.

The girls are doing really well in Early Intervention. They age out of the birth-3 program in June, so soon they will start testing to determine if they will qualify for the 3-5 year old program. We've pretty much already decided that they won't be going to pre-school in the fall, even if they qualify for the free public pre-school. We're not ready to make any school decisions, we didn't think we'd have to until kindergarten. Hubs very much wants me to home school, I pretty much think I'd be terrible at that. But if they qualify for speech therapy then we'll probably do that.

Outside of that they're at an absolutely delightful age right now. Chubby chubby cheeks and smiles and giggles. Playing much more social games both with us and with each other. This whole twins thing is certainly easier in that regard. They are much more able to entertain themselves rather than needing me to entertain them. Ziva is much better at asking for things that she wants with her words, although there are certainly times when I don't understand her and she gets very frustrated. Anya now asks for some things, such as crackers or milk and sometimes requests which movie she wants, but her vocabulary is more limited and tantrums are pretty frequent for her as a result. Sometimes they're both crying and demanding things from me and unable to tell me what they want and I end up wanting to throw my own tantrum! Yikes! Thank God for Book Club and Bunco night so that Momma can get a break!

Anyway, so that's where we've been. Obviously my blogging life has taken the back burner. I'm hoping to update more often. I think I really NEED it, if you know what I mean. Writing is my outlet, and when I don't do it I end up becoming even more stressed. It's become part of what I need to do to take care of myself. This, and yoga. And if I stop doing either one I end up a mess, both mentally and physically due to stress. So I'm hoping to keep up better, both writing and visiting my fellow bloggers whom I love. As part of that I'm pairing down my blogroll so that it's more manageable for me. I've been following WAY too many amazing blogs, and then feel overwhelmed when I check my reader and there are 1000+ things to read. So please don't take offense if one of the blogs I drop is yours. It was either stop the following or just stop reading anyone at all. Truly, nothing personal.

Frankly...

I'm very tired today. Too tired to be creative or come up with pretty words. So I'm going to cut right to the chase.

I'm scared.

Thursday afternoon was pretty much like any other day at my house. Until my husband woke up at 4pm and confessed to me that he had some chest pain, and that it had been going on for about a week. But that the previous night at work he had a pretty terrible "episode" which lasted a few minutes and scared both him and the co-worker who was there at the time. The only reason he told me anything at all was that it had gotten to the point where he felt he needed to see a doctor about it and he asked me to call and make an appointment.

Can someone explain to me why men do these things??? Why they think it's perfectly ok to keep their health problems to themselves until it reaches a severe magnitude???

Sorry, the whole "I didn't want to worry you, Honey." just doesn't work for me.

Instead of making him an appointment I questioned him, and then sent him to the ER. I had dinner in the oven and no hope of child care until 7:30pm so it was the best I could do. Honestly, I thought it would probably turn out to be nothing. Maybe it was just a panic attack or heartburn or something really simple. He's only 42. It can't be his heart. Not yet.

Around 7pm he called me to say that he was still in the ER. That they were getting ready to transfer him to his own room because they were going to keep him overnight for observation. He sounded calm, like it was no big deal. And then he casually stated that they thought it might have been a blood clot or a minor heart attack.

!!!

So although my neighbor knew what was going on from the start and had generously offered to babysit when she got home from work, I felt like I needed to call in the troops for reinforcement (the troops being my parents). They threw some overnight stuff together and hurried over. All while I ran around throwing a bag together for myself. Once they got here I piled in the car and headed to be with my man.

When I got there he was still in the ER, all hooked up to wires and tubes. He looked ok though, lethargic from the drugs they gave him, but otherwise his normal self. Just being there calmed me.

There really isn't much else exciting to share. We spent a very restless night at the hospital, and the next day they couldn't figure out what was wrong so they sent him home with a no-salt diet and a number for a cardiologist. They did notice an "electrical blockage" for one of his arteries on an EKG, but other than that there was nothing outstanding.

So we're home now. And he's back to not telling me if he's not feeling well.

He's frustrated because they couldn't find what was wrong. He's afraid that it will just be like his shoulder. That it will go on and on with no diagnosis and no answers to the point that he feels people don't believe his pain.

Me? I'm just afraid of loosing him. I knew when I married a man 10 years my senior that it was likely to happen someday, but I'm certainly not ready yet. Although, when is anyone ready for such an event? But I'm REALLY not ready now. I need him. And our girls will need him for at least 20 more years. So although his dad died from a heart attack at 62, that's still 20 years from now. This whole "it's just a little chest pain" scares the living crap outta me. And the fact that he doesn't share how he's feeling scares me even more. I hate it. It pisses me off. It makes me wanna scream at him, except I'm sure that won't make things better in any way.

Hubs: I don't see why you're so worried. If I die you'll instantly become a wealthy woman!

Me: I never wanted to be a wealthy woman. I only wanted you.

Bring All Your Troubles

I woke up with this song stuck in my head this morning, so I thought I'd share it.

Enjoy!

New Year's Recap

My New Year's Resolution last year was to post something on this blog every single day. And I kept up with that goal for a goodish bit, and then I got lazy and busy and it somewhat fell to the wayside. But I'm ok with that. I did my best (sorta). And in the end I think I started to share more from my heart. More quality, less quantity. I also think I've found a better balance between my computer time and the rest of my life, which has made a positive difference.

I won't be so foolish to make such a demanding resolution this year. At this point I think "blog when possible" is about as good as I can do.

But without further adieu I'd like to share some of my top posts from this past year. My blogging friend Helene gave me the idea on her New Year's post. (And if you like to laugh, you should really check it out!!!)

January

I started off with a bang and decided to share our birth story. I shared the recipe for my signature dish: Paprika Chicken. You know, back when I had time to take pictures of my cooking exploits. I was able to hypothesize about twin language development. And I ranted about the Octomom. Obviously I had too much time on my hands!

February

In February I was running out of things to write about. So I decided to take on a new resolution to clean out my spice cabinet that involved sharing recipes once a week. And Mystery Spice Monday was born! Again, obviously too much time on my hands! I also wrote about The Boys, and Our Love Story, along with a major case of Spring Fever and My New Babies.

March

I lamented about the things Hubs buys at Costco. I shared a genius of a website that helps you find recipes based on what you have on hand. And I briefly mentioned the occasion that lead to Hub's shoulder injury, not realizing how serious it would be and how it would dramatically affect the rest of our year. I also shared a story about an eventful evening at our house. Plus a highly recommended roast recipe!

April

We all got a major case of the stomach flu, but I learned a lot. We also found a new church, which has been a major blessing, and I expressed how I learned to remember that I was beautiful. I shared a moving Easter video, and also my cute but flawed cake pops, along with our escape to the Tulip Farm.

May

This was the month when things started to look grim, but in the comments on this post Annie's Granny gave me some much needed advice. I shared an Artichoke Chicken recipe that would knock anyone's socks off (assuming they like artichokes). I was also the featured blogger on Multiples...And More!, which also happened to coincide with The National Day of Prayer. I also started to get pretty excited about my garden, and I posted about it here, and here. I also wrote about the twins in their Native Habitat.

June

This is the month when I cut back dramatically on my blogging. We went on vacation, and it was fun but crazy and I failed to write about it. I did manage to write about a Spinach Pesto Pasta Salad that I made for Father's Day, a gardening post, and something about what it means to be a Good Neighbor.

July

I participated in a Hometown Swap and received an AWESOME gift from Jenna! I updated everyone on the girls and their antics. I wrote a note to Ziva. I also shared about how my life had become a Pressure Cooker, and then reassured everyone the next day that I was doing better. In the midst of the craziness I broke my toe, almost forgot about that one!

August

I braved the grocery store alone, with twins in tow. Then I gave a full update of all the world of hurt we were in and why I hadn't been blogging much (and by much I mean, at all). But at least I had one minor victory.

September

Sometimes a change of plans can be for the best, an excellent lesson to learn! We also learned that our live was good despite our circumstances. I finally got around to posting our new family photo, taken in June. And I realized my limitations: that I couldn't post recipes w/ pictures once a week. But I somehow still managed to squeeze out a post about pickle making.

October

I talked about what a film crew would capture if they happened to be following us around one day. I got sappy and shared an old poem that I love. My dad turned 70! I also wrote about our Christmas Gift Giving Plans, and finally got around to posting pictures of our getaway back in August.

November

I posted a Way Back Whendsday about my girls and their Tandem Play. A review of E-Mealz, my new saving grace. A hilarious look back at my dating life. And what November would be complete without of list of Things I'm Thankful For?

December

Hm, apparently I only posted 3 things last month. GO FIGURE!! But I think they're all good and shareworthy so here they are: Holiday Treats Worth Giving, My Theory of What's Happening in Our World, and Christmas Deconstructed.

So that's it! My Year. Honestly, I'm really glad it's over and behind us.

Christmas Deconstructed

Yesterday was a crazy crazy day, and the days leading up to it just as crazy. I am so tired now that I feel that if I blink for just a little too long that I'll fall completely asleep. I'm sure that this is compounded by the fact that the wind here is extremely gusty and woke me up several times last night.

Christmas morning started with us rousing the girls from their slumber an hour before they usually wake up, getting them ready, and then loading them and all our gifts into the car for the drive to Grandma & Grandpa's house. And when I say WE what I really mean is ME because I'm the only member of my little family who is allowed to lift anything. We took two cars since we couldn't fit all the gifts plus 3 adults into one vehicle (yes, my MIL is staying with us for two weeks).

We got to Grandma & Grandpa's house all in one piece, and ON TIME to boot! That pretty much never happens!

Next was breakfast. I brought homemade cinnamon rolls and my mom provided coffee, juice, yogurt, and quiche. I shared my breakfast with Ziva, and she ate most of it, which left me a bit hungry, but there was no time to think twice about it before diving into presents. I did get 2 cups of coffee though, so I was good to go. The girls did great with the presents, although we forgot our camera lots of other people had theirs so hopefully within the next year I'll get pictures. They were VERY excited about them. Ziva kept saying, "Presents? Birthday? YAYYYY!!!!" She also delivered a few presents before she couldn't stand it any longer and started opening! They got some excellent gifts from the fam: new clothes, art supplies, wooden cars, grocery carts complete with "food". The tutu's I made for them were a bit of a bust, they were AFRAID of them! Seriously?! I can't catch a break with these girls being afraid of inanimate objects. Did I tell you that we didn't get professional pictures of them this year because although I took them TWICE to the studio they were AFRAID of the backdrops and would scream bloody murder every time they were asked to get within 10 feet of them?? Just thinking about it almost makes ME cry, that's how traumatic it was.

*SIGH*

As I've mentioned before, we decided to do homemade gifts this year instead of store bought in an attempt to make it more meaningful. Overall I think it went pretty well. The gifts that were given were given with thought and purpose and meaning. My mom made some amazing gifts for people including aprons for me and my sister and photo albums for Hubs. But the sheer volume of gifts was still a bit overwhelming for me. We still spent the majority of the day opening presents, which is what has also happened in the past. Somehow I feel that the presents should be a side note rather than the main event, but I really don't know how to get this to happen. One comment my mom has made (and I think it's probably a common thought), if we don't spend the time opening gifts then what do we do? My first thought was play games, but as my mom pointed out, some people don't like games and we don't want to leave them out. And how do you come up with NEW traditions after 50+ years of doing the current ones? Especially without upsetting people who have helped create those traditions? So much of Christmas is about nostalgia, and if we revamp how we do things it will inevitably involve stepping on toes. If anyone out there has ideas please share!!!

The major bright spot in the day for me was when the girls actually NAPPED at Grandma & Grandpa's house! It was a Christmas miracle!!! During nap time we were able to sit and chat and believe it or not... RELAX! My Grandma & Uncle Butch were able to be with us yesterday, and it's the first Christmas that they've been able to attend so that was very fun. My grandma is 93 years old, and she and my Uncle Butch told stories and cracked jokes and generally made the day very entertaining. At one point they were talking about my Grandma going to visit her sister down in Fresno, CA this summer and my Uncle said he'd be willing to drive her as far as Woodburn, OR but then she was on her own. But he'd be kind enough to drop her on the side of the freeway with a sign saying: Fresno or BUST! How kind of him, don't ya think?! But don't you worry Readers, my Uncle Butch loves his momma and would never do such a thing, he just likes to talk trash and get everyone laughing. Growing up I never knew what to make of Uncle Butch. When I was in college on the East Coast he'd always tease me about not bringing home any lobsters home with me for him. "Where's my lobsters? You didn't bring me any??? Well you better get on back there and bring me some next time! Put 'em in your carry on luggage so they stay nice and fresh." So his presence yesterday kept us laughing, and we desperately needed it what with all the other family drama goin' down that I can't discuss here. Thankfully the drama was kept to a minimum yesterday.

So today I'm tired. Very tired. Hopefully a nap for me is on the agenda.

Against Principalities and Powers

This is a very difficult time for a lot of people. A time of year when memory seems to be amplified, when lost traditions are remembered, when loved ones are missed, when we're constantly reminded of what really matters in life and often feel like our own lives fall short.

I've written before about some of the difficulties my own family has had this year. But I know we're not the only ones. And I know many people with much worse problems. People who thought they had it all together are now loosing their homes to foreclosure. People are worried about our nation. They're worrying about health care and hand gun reform, and whether or not Obama deserves the Peace Prize. People are going through divorces at an alarming rate. People are dealing with sick loved ones, or the death of someone close. It's a terrible world. And if you look at the Bible it says things are only going to get worse before Christ's return.

When I was thinking about all of this today, I was struck suddenly by a verse. I could only remember that it had something to do with Principalities and Powers. That our battle is against the spiritual realm. A little google search later and I found it:

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." Ephesians 6:12-13

We are in a huge spiritual battle. And Satan is having his hay day. And we need to be prepared. How do we do that? We put on our armor.

"Stand firm then,
with the belt of truth buckled around your waist,
with a breastplate of righteousness in place,
and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
In addition to this,
take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
Ephesians 6:14-17

In order to have access to this powerful set of armor, it requires discipline and study. This is not the easiest thing to do, especially when you're already in the middle of a great battle, as many of us currently are. But it only takes a minute or two to open the Word, put your finger on a passage, and arm yourself. I know one lady who reads 3 chapters of the Bible a day, it usually takes her 5-10 minutes. And seriously, this is something I need to do! I'm preaching to myself as I write this!!!

And sorry to jump around, but here's my thought. It's almost Christmas. The holiday that is supposed to be about the birth of Jesus. And yet our society (and let's face it, the forces of evil) have twisted it into something it's not. Into a holiday about Santa and retail marketing, and stress. Let's not forget the stress. Because spending great deals of time thinking about what you should get for various family members can be stressful. Worrying about your credit card bill because you spent too much on gifts is stressful. And for many, thinking about what won't be under the tree for you children is... heartbreakingly stressful.

We've taken the gift of Christ, which was meant to SAVE us, and turned it into a total fiasco. Just try to tell me Satan didn't have something to do with that!

Yes folks, we are fighting against the spiritual world here. And this time of year, the battle is ON! Big time! So we need to focus on our armor and prepare ourselves for attack, because by now it should be obvious that it's coming, if not already here.

But remember, there is light at the end of this tunnel. Jesus came to save the lost. He came for you, for me, for your neighbor, your uncle Frank, your cousin Shelly, your neighbor across the street, your co-worker who drives you nuts. He came for ALL of us!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. - Romans 15:13

But Christ is faithful as a son over God's house. And we are his house, if we hold on to our courage and the hope of which we boast. - Hebrews 3:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6-7

Amen!

Fun Holiday Treats - Perfect for Gift Giving!

Before we get to the point of this post I thought I'd start with a somewhat entertaining side note. I know side notes usually come AFTER you've written your main point, but hang in with me and you'll see why.

I'm a bit afraid of re-entering my kitchen. I think it's finally decided to turn on me. Yesterday I broke not one, not TWO, but THREE separate dishes! And the day before that I broke yet a FOURTH dish!!! What is WRONG with me?!?

For the record, I broke:
- A hand painted mixing bowl that was a wedding gift from my parent's neighbors. It was one of my favorites.
- A Japanese rice bowl that was a part of a set that Hubs and I bought in one of our last pre-baby trips. It had blue fireflies painted on the inside... it was very pretty. Thankfully I have 3 others just like it.
- The cap to the PAM spray. Ok, I know that's not a dish, but it shattered in a million pieces when it hit the floor and really rattled my nerves. Plus it required a careful clean up.
- And last but not least, a candle holder that my mom gave me. She found it at Goodwill so obviously it wasn't that valuable, but it was really cute and it matched my wedding set so I was pretty sad to see it break. This particular item was my last and final straw before I said adieu to the kitchen for the day. I had taken it out of a cupboard in order to reach something else and it was precariously placed on top of the refrigerator (obviously I thought it would get put right back into the cupboard but I must have had an ADD moment and forgot to put it back in). In any case, I pretty much set my very own booby trap! Because when I went to get ice out of the freezer the candle holder came right down onto my head! My own kitchen was ATTACKING ME!!!

Basically, nothing super valuable was broken, but CRIPES!!! I didn't cook dinner last night because I was afraid of what else might get smashed to pieces! And I was SUPER careful when I unloaded the dishwasher this morning! lol... I feel like such a clumsy knucklehead!

And now for the point of the post, but first, a warning...



WARNING!!! If you are a family member or a friend who normally receives gifts from me, DO NOT SCROLL DOWN OR YOU WILL RUIN THE SURPRISE!!!

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Is it safe yet???

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Ok, I'm assuming it's safe from any prying familial eyes...


I'm planning to do a bunch of holiday baking and candy making this coming week in order to have homemade goodies on hand for gift giving. In case you hadn't heard, my family is trying to Give More & Spend Less this holiday season, and I plan to shower my friends & family with homemade goodness from my kitchen. In the spirit of giving, I'm passing on the links to wonderful sites with the recipes.

The Pioneer Woman's Cinnamon Rolls
The Pioneer Woman's Chocolate Candy Cane Cookies
The Pioneer Woman's Chocolate Truffles w/ Sea Salt

Can you tell I'm a fan of hers? Just slightly...

I'm also making Salted Browned Butter Rice Krispy Treats by Smitten Kitchen.

And my Ye Old family recipe for Cream Cheese Mints. Which I shall share with you on a later date.

Should be a fun week! As long as I don't break anything else, in which case I might just throw in the towel and not cook again until New Years.