Tales of a Good Christian Girl

I talk a lot about food, and babies, and life as a housewife trying to stay mentally stimulated in between Wiggles episodes. And that's all fun and good, but today I thought I'd do something a little different and share a story about my past.

Before I met Hubs I spent quite a bit of time trying to find Mr. Right. Between my college boyfriend and Hubs I developed a strategy. I had a list of all the things I wanted in my Husband-To-Be, and then I determined to meet as many eligible bachelors as possible until I found the right one. I was very scientific about it. In order to reel in as many suckers as possible (ha ha) I placed an ad on a popular dating website (which no longer exists, that's how old I am!). In my ad I mentioned that I was a GOOD Christian girl, with MORALS, and RULES, and MODESTY, and that I was interested in MISSIONS. And then I purposefully did not post a picture of myself. "THERE!" I thought, "that oughta rule out about 99.9% of the males on this planet!"

Very next day I had 35 emails and counting. Holy crap!!! Now what do I do? So since I was such a nice sweet young thang I started replying to each and every one of them. Some of them with a polite, "No thanks, not what I'm looking for. But thanks for responding to my ad and I hope you find true love!" Others with questions, gotta ask lots of questions, like a JOB INTERVIEW! For the position of a LIFE TIME! Some never responded back (wonder WHY?), which was fine by me, weed those losers out. And over the course of the next several months I would meet a lot of them in person in public locations.

Most of the guys I met were nice, nothing scary or horrible about them, just not for me. One guy was very nice, we had a lot of common interests, but he was so unattractive that I could barely make eye contact with him. I kept praying about him, telling myself that looks weren't that important, that even ugly guys deserved a nice woman to love... but I just couldn't! Made me feel crazy guilty about asking him to be just friends, but it had to be done.

Another guy was young and sweet. He had his own fledgling business and was sharing a rented house with a roommate. We showed each other our photo albums, because that's the best way to get to know someone, right? We ate in at my place because we couldn't afford to go anywhere. And then we kissed, and ummm... I think I lost my chin! Dude was the WORST KISSER EVER!!! I could probably live a very long time on hamburger helper, but I simply couldn't imagine a lifetime of needing a towel after every kiss. So I broke it off.

And then there was the Model. Yup, I'm dead serious ladies. He was 6'4", worked out 3 hours a day 5 days a week, and did some substitute high school teaching on the side. YIKES! When I agreed to meet him I was terrified. Because let's face it, I was a pretty girl back then, but certainly NOT a super model! I rushed out and bought a new dress that I could barely afford along with some slinky new sandals and hoped that would be good enough. It was probably one of the most nerve wracking dates ever for me. We met at a restaurant, and I can't even remember what we talked about because the entire time I was thinking, "This guy is NOT going to like me. I am SO not his type..."

The only thing we had in common was that we were Christians, and even that was a bit sketchy! True to form I asked him a lot of questions, past relationships, family dynamics, doctrinal issues, the whole nine yards. It turned out that this fellow had recently broken off an engagement with a girl from his church. Why? Well because the pastor of his church had told him that he had a vision for Model Guy's life. And in this prophetic vision Model Guy married Cutie Blonde Girl From Church and the two of them started this amazing ministry together and brought all these people to Jesus. So naturally, even though he had no feelings for Cutie Blonde Girl, he went ahead and proposed to her, and because she ALSO believed in their pastor's vision, she said yes. I remember trying to focus really hard to not stare at him with my jaw hanging open as he told me this story!! Or say something like, "You did WHAT?!" Although, maybe I did say that... it sounds like something I'd say. And then he informed me that even though all this drama went down, and even though he doesn't believe his pastor's prophetic vision was correct, he was STILL attending this so-called "church"!

It took me a few more dates with him to let all that info sink in. I felt like I had some sort of mystery to solve with this guy, and it intrigued me! So... WHY was he still going to this church again? And does this chick still go there too? And most importantly, why in the WORLD does this guy want to go out with ME? I mean, really?! I'm nearly a foot shorter than him, I'm a pleasant conversationalist sure, but I'm not really that exceptional in any way. Just your average Amy, that's me! There was one date specifically that I recall when we went for a walk to get ice cream at a local shop and on our way back he said, "I think something very special is going to happen for us this summer." I'm really not sure how I responded, but I remember being downright baffled! Something special?! Are you kidding me?! You're the dude who proposed to a girl based on some quack pastor! You went to Bible College, shouldn't you KNOW better?! And how exactly am I supposed to follow THAT parade?!

So I was pretty much determined to break it off with him. I had convinced myself that he was basically a Man Bimbo, which would explain quite a bit. But since I didn't really trust my own judgment I decided to have a little get together with some of my friends at my apartment and invite Model Guy and see how things went. It was a fun evening, with food and drinks and lots of joking around. Funny thing was, Male Model didn't understand half of our jokes, and they weren't inside jokes! Finally my dear friend Christina pulled me into the kitchen and said, "WHAT are you doing with this guy?!" And then I had to face the facts, I had no clue what I was doing with him. Probably the only reason I kept going out with him was to try and wrap my mind around the whole thing... until I realized, there was NOTHING THERE TO WRAP!!!

So after the party was over and all my friends had gone home I had a little heart to heart with Model Dude. I explained that the whole pastor/church/Blonde Cutie thing freaked me out a bit and that I thought he really needed to get his spiritual life in order if he wanted to have a relationship with me. I said, "Figure it out, and get back to me." Assuming of course that he never would and that'd be the last I'd hear of him. Doh! Stupid Good Christian Girl!!! Of course he called me back 2 weeks later notifying me that he was now "on the right path".

Luckily for me I had already met Mr. Right. Hubs makes a GREAT scape goat!