For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows grace and favor and glory - honor, splendor and heavenly bliss! No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.

Psalms 84:11

Friday, January 2, 2009

Twin Expectations

Recently on a message board that I frequent, the topic came up: how did your expectations of parenting change when you discovered that you were having twins?

I always knew that I would breastfeed. I was breastfed, my brother was too, and I just grew up thinking that exclusive breastmilk was the way to go for feeding babies. According to my mom my brother never would even take a bottle, it was the boob or nothing for him! I pretty much thought I wouldn't even need to have bottles in my house. But when I found out I had two babies in my belly I wondered if it was even possible to breastfeed. I was pretty upset about it. I had envisioned sitting in a rocking chair with my sweet little baby, just rocking in the sunlight in a pretty cotton gown, with a halo over my head of course. And choir singing softly in the background. You know, like Mary & Jesus. lol How do you even go about it with twins? I jumped online for answers, like I always do, and found that LOTS of women breastfeed their twins! I even found a book dedicated to the subject! Now, it wasn't exactly what I envisioned, there were much more pillows and babies and boobies involved, and there was no rocking chair or halo. And we did use bottles, lots of bottles. And I had to sit with a pump hooked up to me like a cow hooked up to a milking machine. But I DID breastfeed. And my girls DID get all the vital nutrients of my milk. And we DID form that wonderful Mother/Child bond during feedings. In fact, my girls also bonded with each other during this precious time. Many a meal they would reach out and hold hands while nursing. And those memories will be with me forever.

There were a lot of other expectations that pretty much went out the window when we found out we were having twins. We had to buy a new car, we had to buy twice as many baby items, we have 2 weddings and 2 college tuitions to plan for.

There are normally 2 reactions people give us when they find out our girls are twins. The first is, "Oh you're so lucky! I wish I could have had twins!" And the other is, "Oh my gosh how horrible! I'm glad it's you and not me!!!" And the odd thing about being a twin parent is that I go through both of those emotions, sometimes in the same hour. And honestly, I kind of resent both of those reactions, especially when declared by strangers in the grocery store. Because neither is really correct. Yes, we're lucky, but there's also a great deal of hardship that comes with such luck. And yes, I'm glad it's me and not you. But there are often times when I wish it were the other way around too.


Coming Soon!!!

Anya & Ziva's Birth Story - I realized yesterday while copying everything over to this site that somehow it's gotten lost in the shuffle. :( But it's alright, I'll re-write it and hopefully add some new perspective... oh.. and pictures!

Christmas Leftover's Soup aka: Ham Bone Soup


Stacy said...

Hi! Blogging is such a wonderful thing! I keep one too. On my blog list is one I got from my moms of multiples about another mom of twins. Baby squared.

MommyAmy said...

Thanks for the tip Stacy! I'll certainly check out both blogs. :)

cat said...

Great story - great to find new twins moms !

Anonymous said...

I just found this post via multiples and more. I haven't gotten to read alot of your archives yet, but I wanted to tell you I LOVE this post. I feel incredibly blessed to have my boys, but it IS hard emotionally and financially. I think people don't understand that. I love your honesty. I tried to explain to someone recently, my very similar feelings and them made me feel like the worst mommy ever! Its so nice to relate--thank-you!

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