For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows grace and favor and glory - honor, splendor and heavenly bliss! No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.

Psalms 84:11

Friday, July 23, 2010

Such Is Life

I haven't updated my blog in forever, so I thought I should, and then I thought, "But my life pretty much sucks, who would want to read that??" So I didn't. And then life started to suck even more, and more, and more. And now it's gotten to the point where I can't even put it all into words. I just don't have words. It's too vast.

How can one quickly sum up the incidents of a life that lead to this place? The place where sorrow and happiness meet. Where emotions run so high and so complicated that thinking about it makes you want to cry and smile at the same time. I have no idea. But maybe trying will help somehow, although I'm skeptical that's even possible.

To catch you up to speed, Workman's Comp denied Hubs' surgery back in April. Since then we've been waiting for doctors and lawyers and insurance reps to get their paperwork ducks in a row. We're still waiting, and praying, and hoping for the best. In the meantime Hubs hasn't been working. We're living on savings (thank God we have it!) and praying we won't have to much longer.

In the midst of this waiting, our 24 year old niece passed away on June 19th. We're devastated. I could write a whole post simply about this incident, but I'm not sure I could bear it. Let's just say, no one expects their 24 year old daughter to go asleep one night and simply not wake up the next morning. Alisha was a sweet bright light in our family, we loved her dearly, and miss her terribly.

We drove to California for a party in her honor, stayed for a week or so, went to Disneyland with Hubs' family (Who does these things? We do apparently. Although I'm sure Alisha would have approved.) and came home. A grueling 16 hour drive home, but hey, who's counting?

Our dogs were sick the whole time we were gone, and although we had excellent neighbors caring for them, our house was a poopy barfy mess when we arrived and we spent the following 6 hours cleaning and sanitizing. And then we fell down and slept like rocks.

We also came home to some scary letters from Hubs' work and workman's comp, and had to wait for 2 weeks for our lawyer to get home from his vacation before we knew what it all meant. Basically, they can't fire Hubs, but they can stop paying for his health insurance and force us to pay for Cobra. We learned this on our anniversary this week. Happy Anniversary to us! Eight years, and we're still chugging along. At our Anniversary dinner last night, in the same spot where we had our wedding reception, we decided that I need to start looking for a job. It's not what either of us had planned, but we gotta stay solvent somehow.

To top it all off, I found out yesterday that I have a gallstone. I had the ultrasound yesterday morning, and I am waiting to hear from my doctor about whether or not she'll recommend surgery.

Truthfully, we're pretty scared and sad. We're not sure where this road is leading but it sure seems like it's not going to a good place.

The bright spot of course, is our girls. Without them we'd be wallowing in self-pity right about now. Instead, we're having so much fun with them! They're at such an excellent age right now, learning new things all the time, excited about such simple pleasures, and constantly saying things to crack is up. Laughter really is good medicine. Amen!


Kristina P. said...

OH, Amy, I am so sorry. I don't know what everything sucky happens all at once. I hope you get some good news soon.

kimert said...

I'm sorry you have had so much to deal with! Keep your head up though.

Brooke said...

*hugs* i'm so sorry that you're in this position. you certainly have my prayers! its gotta be rough going for you.

is your husband healthy enough to be a stay at home dad while you work? while it might not be what you'd want maybe that's temporary solution.

take care girl and don't be a stranger!

MommyAmy said...

That's the plan, Brooke. We'll see how it goes.

Stacy said...

I'm sorry for your family's loss and that you are having it rough right now. I know what you mean about life sucking. I'm right there with you. {{hugs}} sweetie.

Dee said...

i'm glad you blogged altho it too me forever to read it, you need an outlet. I pray the best for you and your family. Sorry about your loss of your niece. My best girlfriend here just lost her nephew the same way, he never woke up.
keep on chugging along it's all you can do sometimes till the going gets better .

joven said...

beautiful blog..pls visit mine and be a follower.. thanks and God bless..

Zoe said...

"When going through hell, keep going." ~Winston Churchill.

I suppose it means there'll be light at the end of the tunnel! cheers.

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