My New Year's Resolution

This blog is my resolution to better chronicale my life with the girls. Up till now I've been using the blog feature on MySpace, but once you put a certain number of entries the older ones disappear. So I've had to type in Word, save, and then post. Seems like a lot of extra steps that I don't want to make! I'm hoping this will solve that problem.

As a result, I haven't been writing as much as I'd like as often as I'd like. And it makes me feel bad because there's a lot that's not being committed to 'paper' and eventually the memories get lost. I'm hoping to go back in time a bit and re-write some things that have happened. Possibly gain some new perspective, and give myself some needed motivation to take pictures. :) Maybe that's asking a lot, but that's what I'm shooting for!

Failure

Sorry, I don't mean to be a downer. But sometimes I just feel like a big fat failure and I'm sure you've all felt the same way at some point in your life.

Sometimes I'm really envious of people who have kids one at a time. Sometimes I look at moms carrying their one little baby around and I think to myself, "That would be SO much easier!" Just think of the places I could go, or things I could do if I didn't have 2 little ones to carry, guide, chase, etc. Most of the time I think I'm super dooper lucky, but there are times... like today I guess, when I think golly this is hard!

Today I was going to work on my kid's baby books. Yes, that's right, I barely have them started and the girls are officially 18 months old. I am seriously NOT a scrap booker, in fact there are few things in this world that I hate more than scrapbooking. Why? Because it makes me feel like I'm an idiot. Why is it so freakin' hard to put pictures in a book and write blurbs about them? I don't know why, but it feels downright impossible to me. This one page I was trying so desperately hard to work on today was one titled "Holidays and Seasons". Sounds simple, just slap in some pictures of Christmas and Thanksgiving, maybe Easter, and call it good. WRONG, how could I possibly be so wrong. You see, every holiday DJ and I seem to have our hands completely full and we simply just don't take any pictures. So after going through stacks and stacks of pictures (I litterally have hundreds) I finally realized that I'm a terrible mom who doesn't have pictures of my kids first Christmas. In fact, I really don't have many pictures at all of my girls once they became mobile. Then I got a big lump in my throat, and called my mom.

She said that YES she has pictures of their first Christmas, as well as Easter and Thanksgiving. So I can stop worrying about that. She also reminded me that it wasn't until recently that I have been able to come up for air after taking care of every need that my babies have had over the course of the past 18 months. And is it really THAT important that I finish those baby books? Well, it is to me. I guess I feel like it's important to have them all filled out with pictures and cute things to say. But for whatever reason every time I try to work on it I just feel like I'm totally incapable of getting them done. Like it's this huge mountain of guilt and worry that my kids won't have preserved memories of their babyhood every time I get out all the supplies and crap. And then I only have an hour to work on it, realize I'm a looser, completely incompetant scrapbooking person, before I have to hastily toss it all back in a box so my kids don't wreck it all. It's a horrible battle I do with myself every time I say, "Today's the day!"

Well, today was going to be the day, but now I feel like a failure and a terrible mom to boot.

I really don't understand how people think this is supposed to be fun. Maybe someone can clue me in on that part because I just don't get it.

In other news, we went to a fantastic Christmas party yesterday for a mom's group that I'm a part of. I took my mom along for the ride, because there's no way in hell I'd go to such an event with the girls by myself! I'm not THAT crazy! So we each spent the time taking turns chasing Ziva who ran laps around the room trying to find new ways to get into trouble. The food was good, but afterwards my mom and I decided that we couldn't even remember eating anything because when you eat a meatball, and then chase a kid, and then sit down and eat another meatball, it's almost like the meatballs didn't even exist because your stomach forgets to tell your brain that an exchange of calories has been occured. Anya surprised us all by being very curious about Santa and actually sat in his lap for over 5 minutes! The girls had a great time, but me and mom were exhausted and ready for a nap by the time we got home.

Goodbye My Dear Aunt Charlotte

I just got the call that I've been dreading for a few days now, my Aunt Charlotte has gone home to be with the Lord. She was diagnosed with colon cancer over a year ago, and after going through chemo twice, three days ago they said it wasn't working and that she wouldn't be with us much longer.

On top of cancer, my aunt also had MS and had been confined to a wheel chair for many years. She's had MS for as long as I can remember. And although it was discouraging at times, she never let it get her down. She was always upbeat and smiling, her laugh could make everyone else laugh. And she faced cancer with the same type of enthusiasm. She didn't know if she would beat it, but she told us all the time that she would be ok no matter what. You see, my Aunt Charlotte loved Jesus. She had lived in her weak body for 65 years and had faced all kinds of medical problems, and she knew that if cancer took her to be with Jesus then it would be ok. By all accounts, any time she went in for a chemo treatment she was all smiles and jokes and happiness, and of course the nurses there absolutely loved her. My mom just told her a few weeks ago, "I'll be praying for you Charlotte." And she responded back, "I'll be praying for you too." My mom can barely tell that story without shedding tears... in her weakest moments my Aunt was always thinking about others rather than herself.

I know we're not supposed to have favorites. But my Aunt Charlotte was my favorite Aunt. I remember when I was a know-it-all 12 year old and she asked if she could take piano lessons from me. I was THRILLED to have my very own student, and who better than my most favorite aunt in the world. :) She drove all the way to east Gresham from Sherwood once a month so that I could give her lessons. I specifically remember scolding her for not practicing enough, and having her smile at me (probably trying not to laugh at such a bossy "teacher"!). Eventually it got to be too hard for her to come to our lessons, and I was disappointed mostly because it meant I wouldn't get to see her so much. I loved her dearly.

I remember when she married my Uncle Tim. I don't remember how old I was, probably 10 or something. And I remember thinking that hopefully someday I'd be just as beautiful on my wedding day. By the time she met and married my Uncle Tim she had been married before, had 5 children, divorced, and then married Tim. So I 'know' that she wasn't the picture perfect bride, but I thought she was gorgeous.

When she passed last night her mom (my grandmother who is 92) and her twin sister Sharon were with her. She will be greatly missed by her mom, her 4 brothers, her twin sister, and her 5 kids and numerous grandchildren and great grand children. And I'm sure all her neices and nephews and hundreds (it seems!) of cousins will miss her too. Because she was the kind of person who made everyone feel special, so there will be many who will miss her. I know I will.

Gobble Gobble?

Somehow anything to do with turkeys makes me think of Mr. Bean. Maybe you're twisted like me in that way and would enjoy this clip. :)

Merry Christmas Mr. Bean

My Thanksgiving Recipe Picks

I know there are some of my friends on here who might be interested, so I thought I'd post what I'm planning to bring to Thanksgiving this year at my mom's house. She said I could bring whatever I wanted, and I think she's going to get way more than she bargained for. lol And just so everyone knows, I'm not a super wonderful cook. I just know how to follow a recipe and I spend far too much time on the internet hunting for the perfect ones. :) Note: I have only tried one of these recipes before, and I don't plan on trying them out before the big day so I can't vouch for their wonderfulness aside from how I imagine they'll taste. :P

First pick is a Corn Casserole that someone posted on a message board that I visit. I've never even tasted a corn casserole before, but just by reading the recipe I could tell that it's gonna be a huge hit.

Corn Casserole

2 eggs, beaten
1 (15 oz) can cream style corn
1 (15 oz) can whole kernel corn, drained
1 cup sour cream
¼ cup butter, melted
1 ½ cups shredded cheddar cheese
½ cup chopped onion
1 (4 oz) can diced green chiles, drained
1 box jiffy cornbread mix
½ tsp black pepper
½ tsp salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Grease a 2 quart by 2" deep casserole dish.

In a large mixing bowl, combine eggs, cream style corn, sour cream, and melted butter. Stir in whole kernel corn, cheese, onion, chilies, salt, and pepper. Stir in the corn muffin mix until just moistened.

Bake for 75 minutes, or until a knife inserted comes out clean and the top is golden.

Let stand 5 minutes before serving.

And next I picked 3 deserts, because I decided that desert is really the most important part of Thanksgiving anyway. :P That and I knew that other people had the other parts of the meal already covered. My dad is making a pecan pie, so I knew that was covered. So I decided that I needed to bring something with pumpkin, something fruity, and what the heck there's always room for chocolate.

Pumpkin pie is wonderful, but I've made pumpkin pie from scratch and I don't think it's fun to make. First you get the tiny pumpkin from the store, then you gut it and bake it and then make the custard and then crust and bleh... no thanks. Plus I have tile countertops and I've sworn never to roll dough on it again. So I decided to go with a pumpkin cake. Which might be tricky to transport, but I'm thinking I'll bring the cake and frosting seperate and then assemble it when I get to my mom's house. Hopefully it'll get scarfed up and then I won't have to bring it home.

Found the recipe on someone else's blog but it's a Rachel Ray recipe: Pumpkin Cake with Pecan Brittle and Cream Cheese Whipped Frosting. Drool...

Ingredients

3 cups granulated sugar
2 cups pecans (about 8 ounces)
2 1/2 cups flour
1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 sticks (8 ounces) unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 cups packed brown sugar
4 large eggs, at room temperature
3/4 cup milk
Grated zest of 1 orange
One 15-ounce can pure pumpkin puree
1 8-ounce package of cream cheese, at room temperature
3 cups heavy cream, chilled
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

Directions

1. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Butter two 8-x-2-inch round cake pans. Line the bottoms of the pans with parchment paper and butter the parchment. Flour the pans.*
2. In a large skillet, melt 2 cups granulated sugar over medium-high heat until light amber, about 7 minutes.
3. Reduce the heat to low, add the pecans and quickly stir to coat. Transfer the pecans to the prepared baking sheet and, using a metal spatula, spread in a single layer to cool completely.
4. Place the praline in a sturdy resealable plastic bag and crush into pieces; set aside.
5. Preheat the oven to 350°F. In a bowl, sift together the flour, pumpkin pie spice, salt, baking powder and baking soda.
6. Using an electric mixer, beat together the butter, 1/2 cup brown sugar and the remaining 1 cup granulated sugar until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.
7. Add the eggs, 1 at a time, beating until combined.
8. Beat in the flour mixture in 3 parts alternately with the milk and orange zest on low speed until just combined.
9. Add the pumpkin puree and beat until just combined.
10. Divide the batter evenly between the 2 prepared pans and bake until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, about 45 minutes. Transfer the cake layers to a rack to cool, about 10 minutes. Remove the cakes from the pans, invert and peel off the parchment paper. Let the cakes cool completely on the rack, about 45 minutes.
11. Meanwhile, make the frosting. Using a standing mixer with a whisk attachment, whip the cream cheese and cream on medium speed until soft peaks form, 2 to 3 minutes.
12. On low speed, gradually beat in the remaining 1 1/2 cups brown sugar and the vanilla until stiff peaks form. Cover and refrigerate until ready to use.
13. Assemble the cake: halve each cake layer horizontally with a serrated knife. Place 1 cake layer on a platter. Spread the whipped cream frosting on top about 1/4 inch thick; sprinkle with about 1/2 cup crushed pecan praline. Repeat with three more layers, saving enough frosting for the cake sides and reserving the last layer of praline. Spread the remaining frosting evenly on the sides of the cake and sprinkle the reserved pecan praline on top. Refrigerate the cake for at least 1 hour before serving.

Something fruity... hmmm... Well I didn't ponder for long because this next recipe is what actually inspired me to bring desert this year. I found it in my new favorite magazine Wonder Time. It's a kid friendly mom magazine, there's so many bad ones out there like Parenting.. BLEH!... but Wonder Time really is a nice mag and I actually went ahead and subscribed to it after I found this recipe. It's a Cranberry Velvet Pie. The pictures look amazing, like a pumpin pie custard except with gorgeous rosey cranberries. And made in a 11" tart pan, just to up the wow factor. I can't wait to make it!

Cranberry Velevet Pie

For the crust:
1 1/2 cups flour
1 T fresh-grated orange rind
2 T sugar
1/8 t salt
3/4 c (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, chilled and cut into 1/4-inch slices
1 large egg
1/2 t vanilla

For the filling:
4 c fresh cranberries, rinsed and picked over
1/2 c orange juice
2 T lemon juice
1 1/4 c sugar
pinch of salt
6 large egg yolks
1/2 c (1 stick) unsalted butter, sliced into 8 pieces
1 T fresh-grated orange rind
Whipped cream for topping (optional)

1. Process four and orange rind in a food processor until the rind has been thoroughly ground into the flour, about 30 seconds. Add sugar and salt and pulse on and off for a few seconds. Scatter butter slices over the flour mixture and pulse until the mixture resembles cornmeal, about 10 times. In a small bowl, whisk together egg and vanilla. Add to flour mixture and pulse on and off until the dough holds together. Gatyher up the dough, knead it manually if necessary to smooth it out, and wrap it in plastic wrap. Chill it for at least an hour or up to 2 days.
2. Divide dough into 8 or 10 pieces. Scatter the pieces evenly in a well-greased 11-inch tart pan or a 9 1/2 inch pie plate. Gently pat the dough into place to make a 1/4 inch thick crust, coming as far up the edges of the pan as you can. Chill pan for 20 minutes while you heat the oven to 375.
3. Grease a 14-inch square piece of heavy aluminum foil. Gently fit the foil, greased side down, over the crust. Cover foil with pie weights, uncooked rice, or uncooked beans. Place crust on a baking sheet and bake for 20 minutes. Carefully lift out the foil and pie weights and set aside. Return crust to the oven and bake until golden and baked through, about 15-20 minutes longer. Take the crust out of the oven and reset the oven to 275.
4. Put cranberries, juices, sugar, and salt into a large saucepan. Bring the mixture to a boil, stirring until the sugar is disolved. Lower heat to a simmer, partially cover, and cook, stirring frequently, until berries are soft, about 25-30 minutes. Force cooked berries and any cooking liquit through a fine sieve or food mill to remove all the skins and seeds. (This is a boring job if you use a sieve, so have a book or willing assistant handy.)
5. Put the cranberry puree into a clean saucepan. Over low heat, stirring constantly, whisk in egg yolks. Continuing to stir constantly over low heat, cook the mixture until it is very thick, about 15 minutes. Then take it off the heat and whisk in the butter slices one at a time. Whisk in orange rind.
6. Pour the cranberry mixture into prepared crust. Bake until set, about 20 to 30 minutes. Cool completely; then chill for at least 6 hours or up to one day. Serve with whipped cream.


And last, but absolutely not least, Ina Garten's Outrageous Brownies. And she ain't kiddin'. These are by far the richest most ewwie gooie brownies I have ever eaten. I watched her make these on her show Barefoot Contessa a few years ago at an airport, and they looked soooo lucious that I remembered to look up the recipe online when I got home. They are SO good that my hubby the non-chocolate lover decided to learn how to make them himself and memorized the recipe. This recipe alone is the reason why I own a double boiler. If you don't have one you can just melt the chocolate in a smaller saucepan inside a larger one with water in it, it works just the same. That's right, you'll need to melt chocolate for this one... it's that freakin' good! Not a recipe for a first time cook though, it's a little tricky... but it's a labor of love and it's so worth it. If you don't believe me about how amazing these brownies are, then just google "Ina Garten Brownies" and read the over 100 reviews on this recipe all proclaiming it's wonderfulness.

Ina Garten's Outrageous Brownies

Ingredients

nocoupons

• 1 pound unsalted butter
• 1 pound plus 12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips, divided
• 6 ounces unsweetened chocolate
• 6 extra-large eggs
• 3 tablespoons instant coffee powder
• 2 tablespoons real vanilla extract
• 2 1/4 cups sugar
• 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour, divided (1 cup for batter and 1/4 cup in the chips and nuts)
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 3 cups diced walnut pieces

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour a 13 by 18 by 1 1/2-inch sheet pan.

Melt together the butter, 1 pound chocolate chips, and unsweetened chocolate on top of a double boiler. Cool slightly. Stir together the eggs, instant coffee, vanilla and sugar. Stir in the warm chocolate mixture (SLOWLY, otherwise you'll scramble the eggs and that would be yucky) and cool to room temperature.

Stir together 1 cup of the flour, baking powder and salt. Add to cooled chocolate mixture. Toss the walnuts and 12 ounces of chocolate chips with 1/4 cup flour to coat. Then add to the chocolate batter. Pour into prepared pan.

Bake for about 30 minutes, or until tester just comes out clean. Halfway through the baking, rap the pan against the oven shelf to allow air to escape from between the pan and the brownie dough. Do not over-bake! Cool thoroughly, refrigerate well and cut into squares.

And that's it folks, ENJOY! Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving!

A Smooshfoot History: Infant Car Seats

After hearing SO many crazy stories (some of them bordering on HORROR stories) about car seats or lack thereof from our parents and grandparents this video strikes me as downright hillarious. :P Hopefully you'll find it funny too. Feel free to share about the crazy stories your parents have told you regarding car seats "back in the day".

Check out this video: A Smooshfoot History: Infant Car Seats

Long Time, No Blog!

Well, now that I'm actually at a computer that doesn't shut down every 10 minutes, I thought I'd update the ol' blog! Yup, my computer is on the fritz. It's SO frustrating!!! But now after several attempts to fix it DJ has finally given up. So we're planning to order a new one for me, and in the meantime I'm using his old laptop.

My eye surgery went really well. The first 5 days were really hard, but I was prepared for the worst so the reality wasn't as bad as I expected it would be. I still have to put drops in my eyes several times a day for the next 2 months, and my vision isn't 100% yet, but I was told that it wouldn't be until 3 or so months after surgery. It's good enough that I can drive and get back to normal activities, but bad enough that I've had quite a few headaches and I'm sure it's because of eye strain. Overall I'm happy with the results, and very hopeful about the healing process.

The girls are doing great! My mom thinks that they've said some words, but I'm not so sure. I'm probably being too strict on what I would consider an actual word. They both babble "bababa" whenever I get their bottles out. And at the beach this weekend Ziva said what sounded like "Hi" when we put a phone up to her ear. But I'm skeptical. Until it happens more than 50% of the time I don't think I'll be able to count it. :P Ziva is really into playing silly little games lately. She has figured out that she can feed other people besides herself, and feeding mommy is particularly fun. Anya has really gravitated towards DJ lately. She LOVES to be tickled and tossed in the air, and Daddy is always good for that. They both really love to play peek-a-boo, and often try to put things over their own heads. They're at such a fun stage right now and our house is full of giggles and silliness.

I went to the beach this weekend with the girls, my parents and my grandma. It was a great time watching all 3 grandparents bond with the girls. We don't get to spend much time with my grandma so she got the chance to really get to know them which was awesome! The girls had a grand ol' time. They had a lot more freedom to explore and get into things than what they do at home. So there were a lot of "no no, don't do that" moments but overall they were very good. Sometimes I felt like I was herding cats, but sometimes I feel like that at home too. lol My mom brought the stash of toys that she keeps at her house, so that kept them entertained. We also took them down to the beach and let them walk around barefoot. They LOVED that! And it was beautiful weather! Sunny and warm but breezy. We couldn't have ordered better weather for October! Overall we had a fabulous time.